Churchladies in a pandemic sew facemasks.
Our churchladies got a call to action put out by the local hospital at the end of March. They needed homemade cotton facemasks. Not for medical professionals, of course, but for their outpatients. And then the recommendation came from government, and then N95 masks were rationed, and by April 7, our firefighters and respiratory techs and grocery store workers were asking for them, along with those villagers in self-isolation. In other words, everybody.  
So we sewed and sewed. Many styles, many sizes, many colours. 
If you need a pattern to make one (or forty...) yourself, send a request using the contact form to the right. But, really, any of the internet patterns work. As one of the cooler churchladies, who just turned 80, says, "Turn up the tunes, and sew away!"

Q. This question came to us, not online, but in the real world! What is the recipe for our four-ingredient bread? Please note that this bread does not keep well. That is part of its charm. It needs to be eaten immediately, and so is not laden with chemical preservatives of any kind and could never be lumped with the stuff that has sticker after sticker on it marked "reduced". This is hands-on, handed-over bread. 
A.  ​

​Q. Dear Church lady, What about offering meatless recipes? Food is expensive and sometimes a new recipe can help change the routine. Plus nutritional advantages.I think if you are on a fixed income, cooking for one or two, you can sometimes run out of ideas. CS.
A. Dear CS, Thanks for the great suggestion! We love vegetarian options, and your average church lady can stretch a dollar until it cries for mercy! 
Let's start with that church lunch favourite, egg salad. It's just boiled eggs, mayonnaise, salt and pepper and your choice of onions, parsley, cilantro, basil, relish, olives, mustard, or even dried cranberries and nuts. A few of us make a nice bean soup that is just soaked and boiled beans (of nearly any kind), cooked with whatever vegetables are in season. That's gluten-free as well, we understand. Lentil lasagna is good. Replace the meat in your usual recipe with lentils that have been cooked in water or broth for about 20 minutes until soft. You can do that with moussaka, too. Zucchini season is coming up. Gardeners will gladly load you up with some, and they make great "boats" or fillers for nearly anything. Lots of options for that in a google search. Macaroni and cheese? There are some delicious and inexpensive homemade options out there. 
One of our forager parishioners swears by stinging nettle soup. Be careful picking the leaves - use gloves! - but then quickly blanch them in boiling water and they will lose their sting. Saute them with onions and add some milk or broth and they are delicious and full of vitamins. 
Anyone else have a great inexpensive meatless recipe? We would love to print it here!

​Q. Dear Church Lady, I see that the June 13 service is on the Feast Day of G.K. Chesterton. Do you think we should worry that Certain Clergy of the parish (and I don't mean Fr. Gary) will try to wear a "Father Brown" shovel hat?? Sign me, Concerned
A. Dear Concerned, Black felt meets Altar Guild approval certainly, if worn with a black non-seersucker material in a non-Father-Brown severe cut, so your worry, although not unfounded, may be inconsequential. G.K.'s is a Minor Feast, but at least one churchlady is considering her own shovel hat and a re-read of The Man Who Was Thursday before dishing out the egg salad.

We have a question! And it is from a clergy spouse, a favoured target for advice in churchlady circles. How exciting!
Q. Dear Church Lady, My spouse wants to wear seersucker on Easter Sunday. I think he should wait until Whitsunday. Please advise. 
A. Dear Consider-the-Lilies, At least Whitsunday, and then only until dawn on The Day of Pentecost. ​

​Q. Those quilts you are making for the homeless -- what's the pattern?
A. They are called "ugly quilts" and they are ugly only so they won't be something someone will want to steal from an already-vulnerable someone else. We found the pattern on the internet, but ours are unique because we use old police uniforms (pockets and all!) that are sturdy and slightly waterproof. The pattern is here. We are very grateful to The Sleeping Bag project for sharing the idea, and we'd love it if you use it too! Our finished quilts go to Street Health in Toronto. Contact the webmaster if you wish more information.

We know lots more about things, and are dying to give advice. Just ask.